Thursday, October 23, 2008

The Ax Will Soon Fall, Layoff Talk

There was a old joke about how to break bad news gently, and how badly this one person fails at doing it.

A fellow is going away for a vacation for a couple of weeks and he has his best friend look after his house. you know, water the plants feed the pets and all the rest of it. He’s gone for a couple of days and he gets a phone call from the fellow tending to the house.

He says, “I gotta tell you, I’ve got bad news – your cat’s dead.” The guy was traumatized.

So the next year when he was getting ready to go on vacation he says, “I’m going to be going again. I want you to watch the house, look after things. But if anything bad happens, you’ve go to give it to me in small bits, just a little at a time. Like with the cat – you call me up and you say, “Your cat’s dead!” Instead, say “Your cat went up on the roof.” Then, call me back later and said, “ the fire department came to rescue your cat.” a little later call back and “the cat fell off the roof.” the after telling me we are headed to the vets you can say “Your cat’s dead”. That way I could have prepared myself rather than being so shocked. The guy said, “Okay. I’ll do that I understand.”

So he goes on vacation for a couple of weeks but has only been away for a couple of days and he picks up the phone and it’s his friend who’s looking after the house, and the fella says,

“I’ve got news for you. Your mother’s on the roof.”

We had a department meeting this morning that was very much like that; Our people are our most valuable resource, you are all vital to our operations, but

We may have to consider 'Reduction in force', furloughs, early retirement and other measures.

I think I am on the roof.

PS, I did hear that Wall St. Executives will only get about 70,000,000,000.00 in bonus pay this year. I wonder if I they may be hiring.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It'll be okay, Sweetie. I'm already updating your resume and I have a good lead for a job at the agency next door to mine.

Keep your fingers crossed that I don't have to join you on the roof.